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MFC Newsletter
Volume 3 Issue 13

July/August 2008

  • Going on vacation with your spouse? Study the ABC's of Communication

    Many couples, after years of marriage and child-raising, have a difficult time going on vacation together.

    First of all, the logistics of planning a vacation without the children are overwhelming. The realities of lack of time and/or money seem insoluble, so parents end up staying home and forget about taking a trip alone. Years – even decades – may pass before they finally decide to try again.

    Meanwhile, their relationship suffers.

    In a recent article in the Wall Street Journal entitled, “More Couples Find Marriage Leaves Them Alone Together,” Sue Shellenbarger portrays couples who have grown apart in the course of their life together. As one husband describes, “With separate hobbies and friendships, we were like ships passing in the night."1

    Do you find yourself in this position? Do you avoid time alone with your spouse and think to yourself, “What are we going to talk about? We don’t want to talk about the kids; that’s all we talk about!”

    Alternatively, are you among the many who – when you finally do take that walk in the park or trip alone – end up feeling further apart than together?

    It’s time to relearn the ABC’s of Communication.

    You knew these ABC’s when you first dated. You may have remained literate in them during your first year or several years of marriage, before you had children.

    You slowly forgot them, as the business of raising a family took precedence.

    This is a reminder of the ABC’s of Communication. Learn them well. You will enjoy your trip and rekindle the desire that brought you together in the first place.

    ABC   DON'T DO
    A Argue Agree
    B Belittle Befriend
    C Complain Caress
    D Despair Desire
    E Excoriate Excuse
    F Fault Forget
    G Grimace Greet
    H Hate Help
    I Irritate Impress
    J Jab Joke
    K Kick Kiss
    L Lose Love
    M Malign Motivate
    N Neglect Nurture
    O Oppose Oblige
    P Parody Pardon
    Q Quarrel Quip
    R Rebuff Receive
    S Sabotage Support
    T Tether Tempt
    U Undermine Understand
    V Violate Value
    W Warp Want
    X X-ray "X-tol"
    Y Yawn Yearn
    Z (see as) Zero (see as) Czar

    1http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121495841914021501.html


  • To subscribe to this free e-newsletter or to inquire about coaching, email drmona@myfamilycoach.com or call Dr. Spiegel at 845-425-4842.

    Dr. Mona Spiegel, a licensed psychologist, has worked for many years as a diagnostician and therapist in Rockland County, NY. In addition, she founded MyFamilyCoachTM to provide professional coaching on the telephone for women who want guidance but do not need therapy. She focuses on parenting issues, relationship and communication skills for single and married women, and successful transitions through life. Dr. Spiegel is a member of the International Coach Federation and the American Psychological Association.

    Republication: Permission is granted to republish this newsletter as long as complete subscription and contact information is included. Excerpted versions may be published with advance, written permission.

    Copyright © 2005 MyFamilyCoachTM, all Rights Reserved.